30 July 2015

WTDW Other Men Hit On Your Date, or Your Date Abandons You

by u/champagnehouse

Let me get Hollywood on you for a moment.

Ashton Kutcher has a story he’s related on more than one talk show: he was at some swanky Hollywood party where Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston (still together then) happened to be. Kutcher had a standing bet with a friend that he could get Aniston to go on a date with him. The problem, of course, was that Aniston was with Brad Pitt.

So Kutcher approached Pitt and asked him if he could make a move anyway. (For the bet and all).

What was the response of Pitt, one of the most good-looking and deservedly self-confident men on the planet? Was it to get pissed and stew? Was it to assert his manhood by threatening to kick Kutcher’s ass? Was it to call out the host of the party and ask for Kutcher to get kicked out?

No. Pitt just said, “Sure, man. Have at it.”

I paraphrase, but you get the point. Brad Pitt was so confident in his relationship that he was fine letting a studly up-and-coming Hollywood star openly hit on his wife. Why? Because when you’re that confident in yourself and your relationship, you almost think it’s funny to see other men “try.”

You, too, can have this confidence.

Principles

Frame: You are the prize, you are the one being seduced, you are the one with abundance mentality who knows he can find another group of women around the corner who will love him. Everything flows from this frame: “she’s lucky to be with me.” It sounds confident to the point of cocky, but when it’s authentic, people will respond positively.
Poise: You don’t get your panties in a bunch. You don’t get emotional. You don’t get stupidly happy or nervous for some reason. You just think, “sure, if she wants someone else, she’s welcome to it.” And something in your eyes suggests, “it’s her mistake to make.”
Abundance: If she wants someone else, or if someone else wants to hit on her, they’re welcome to it. You know all about abundance mentality so you’re certain that the next woman is right around the corner anyhow. And if she’s going to abandon you on a date, you’d rather she do it sooner rather than later.

What to do

Consider other men flirting with your date to be a frame test. How do you respond to frame tests? If you read Attracting Beautiful and Exceptional Women Naturally, you know it’s simple: you don’t acknowledge the frame tests as valid.

So you:

Don’t retreat. Continue to be a part of the social environment you’re in.
Allow her to flirt with other men. Sometimes you may even encourage them to do so.
Approach or engage another group - your friends, a group of strangers, etc.
Never accept the other man’s frame of “I’m taking your girl.” Instead, your frame is “Have at it…because I’m so confident right now that this is going to be fun.”

Brad Pitt did the same. He said “sure” to Ashton Kutcher, almost as if he sincerely wanted to see how funny it would be to take place. In a subtle way, he’s not even acknowledging Kutcher as having a chance.

Kutcher failed, by the way.

Editor’s Note: Examples linking to an off-site blog have been removed.

tl;dr When other men flirt with your date, let them and go find something else in the venue more interesting: talking to friends, approaching other women, etc. She’s a big girl capable of making her own decisions. If challenged by the guy, acknowledge that she can do whatever she wants in a way that does not lose your frame.