Fix Your Posture

In An Introduction to Suave-itude, I expressed my definition of “suave” as:

Inner confidence and self-respect expressed in one’s habits, social endeavors, and lifestyle.

As a result of your hard work, someone should be able to tell that you have self-respect just by looking at you.

But it’s not just the way you dress, or the fact that you’re well-groomed. It’s in the way you, quite literally, carry yourself.

Few direct changes will yield such positive benefits to your confidence and results with women as fixing your posture. Not only does the mind-body connection work both ways (when you fix your body, your mind will follow, and vice versa), but posture is one of the most important social cues other people use to determine whether or not you believe yourself to be awesome.

It’s no accident that you’ll never see James Bond slouch; Sean Connery was famous for his tiger-like stage presence, cultivated with a ballet teacher by the name of Yat Malmgren. Decades later, dude still looks like a tiger prowling. Pierce Brosnan always stands up straight, too. Daniel Craig? Of course he stands up straight

Basic Posture Fixes

Your habits shape your posture, so if you have bad posture, it’s because you have bad habits. For most people, fixing those bad habits and making them good will yield in superior posture without even thinking about it.

There are a few principles for ensuring that you have proper posture:

• Working out regularly with proper form. For many people, simply doing squats, deadlifts, and other compound exercises on a regular basis will help ensure that their posture is on-point.
• Do posture-specific exercises. Videos like this one on how to improve hunchback posture will help you target specific muscle groups that help you naturally strengthen your posture. Do a daily exercise for at least three weeks and see if you notice a different.
• Make a conscious effort throughout the day. Change will hopefully be (mostly) automatic, but you’ll need to right the ship on a conscious level before the new posture becomes unconscious.

Advanced Fixes

If you’re still not satisfied with your posture, it may be time to call in the cavalry.

• Advanced guides like this one at /r/fitness provide you with a to-do list of specific exercises, like T-roll pushups and dumbbell rows.
• Dance, ballet, and yoga classes. Sean Connery earned his badass, cool, suave body language by working with a dance instructor. Don’t think you’re above doing the same. Make sure to tell your instructor about your goals.
• Specific posture coaches. Check out sites like Alexander Technique for specific lessons and advice about body movement.

The Goal: What You’re Aiming For

So what does proper posture look like, anyway?

Here’s a visual guide that shows some of the most common problems. Fat guys frequently suffer from thoracic kyphosis to hide their chub; office drones from forward head.

A good rule of thumb to see what good posture feels like is to lift both of your hands over your head pointing straight up at the sky, align your head underneath them, and then lower your hands while keeping your chest/head in alignment. You should feel like you’re standing like superman now.

If it feels unnatural, it means you’ve got some work to do: mostly, physical exercise. But mental exercise will be part of the journey as well, making sure to try and catch yourself if you’re not standing or sitting up straight.

Standing up straight is one of the very first visual cues that you are not a basement-dwelling sea monster but a confident man in charge of his environment. Make posture a real part of your efforts to get more suave, and people will notice.

The Basic r/GetSuave Posture Kit

For general problems…

• Lift three times per week. This should be part of your fitness routine, of course, but it needs to be said. Deadlifts in particular are great for posture. Have a trainer check your form.
• Tackle about three minutes of posture exercises per day. It usually involves standing straight against a wall and moving your arms, or laying on the floor and doing similar things. Here’s a good video to help.
• Set a phone notification to go off a few times per day for a few weeks. Every time it goes off, ask yourself if you’re sitting or standing up straight. If not, fix it and go on with your day.
• Enter a room walking tall. Make a habit of this. Leil Lowndes in “How to Talk to Everyone” recommended that you pretend that your teeth were tied to the top of the doorway, lifting your head and chin up high.

For specific problems…

• Take a photo of yourself standing as “normal” as feels natural. Front and sides. Have someone do it, or use your phone’s delay setting.
• Go to “Posture Power” and diagnose your specific problem. Posture Power: How to Correct Your Body Alignment is a great guide and will give you specific recommendations.
• Work the stretches and exercises into your usual exercise routine.

Further Reading/Resources

• Posture Power: How to Correct Your Body Alignment - A great guide for diagnosing your problem and recommending specific stretches and exercises to fix it.
• Alexander Technique
• The Knowing Body: Meaning and Method in Yat Malmgren’s Actor Training Technique - Highly advanced and academic but interesting to anyone who wants to get deeper