Party Hosting 101: The Morning After

Note: I don’t advocate the collegiate party style of getting wasted, going out, sleeping the hangover off all day, and repeating. But let’s face it: if you throw a party every once in a while, you’re going to have some overnight guests. This guide applies to having women over, having friends over, and more, and is all about being a good host after the sun rises again and the party’s long done. True, sometimes you don’t want guests to stick around. For the purposes of this guide, we’re assuming that you do.

Once in my younger and more vulnerable years I went to a party at a friend’s house. We drank and had a good time. The next morning, a good group of people were still over at the friend’s house. Most people were hungover. The guy who lived there went to the fridge, retrieved a six-pack of Gatorades, and handed them out. The thoughtfulness and timeliness of the gesture has, ever since, given me something of an obsession of being a good host even after the party is over.

Bottom line: if you have the kind of amenity-poor environment where overnight guests start debating whether they should make a 7/11 or Starbucks run on Sunday morning, you’re not doing it right.

The Night Before the Morning After

Cue the Beatles.

• Put out clean pillows and blankets. There’s something “homey” about having your own pillow and blanket at someone else’s place.
• Close any east-facing shades or curtains. The sun is the hangover’s best friend and simultaneously its worst enemy.

Something to Drink

If someone had a few drinks and ended up crashing at your place, their first instinct upon waking up is to be thirsty. Hence the value of the aforementioned Gatorade Man.

• Juice. Do I have to refer you to our man ChiCity on the subject of stocking your fridge with drinks? Orange juice is universal, but if you wanna be all ChiCity about it, stock up with everything. Key point: buy juice in small bottles. Buying one big jug will usually result in wasted juice.
• Water. If your city water is good, have clean glasses near the sink ready to go. Otherwise, keep a full pitcher filter in the fridge. A suave touch is to add fancy water bottles like San Pellegrino, which can be had at the store for like two bucks.
• Coffee. Whether or not you drink coffee yourself, you should be able to offer it at a moment’s notice. The best quick, cheap, efficient method is the French press. Click “preparation” there to find an easy guide, or check out Alton Brown’s views on using a French press.

Something to Eat

If you’re the type-A morning person who can make a pastry run before all the guests are up, great. Do that. But it will help if you have the knowledge and supplies on hand to create what is essentially a continental breakfast from scratch.

• Eggs. Eggs are cheap, easy to prepare, and practically expected. Cook 2-3 eggs per person in a big buttered pan on medium heat and stir occasionally. Season with salt and pepper and serve by putting the pan out on a kitchen towel with a big plastic spoon.
• Meat. Bacon or sausage or both. The most efficient way to cook bacon for a lot of people is actually to cook it in the oven. Drain on paper towels and put it all out on a big plate next to the eggs for people to serve themselves. Aim for about 2-4 meat units per person and don’t worry about making extra, because breakfasts meats will taste fine for you, reheated for Monday’s breakfast.
• Toast. Again, cheap and efficient and just about everyone eats it. For efficiency, you can’t beat a toaster oven. Make sure you have sufficiently softened butter, though, or else you’re going to destroy your toast and it’s going to taste bad. Bonus points for having jam available.
• Fresh fruit. Gotta have something for the vegetarians, and vegetables ain’t gonna cut it for breakfast.
• Optional: hash browns. Even if you just heat up frozen hash browns in the pan, they’ll taste great and it’s far more effort than most people make.
• Clean dishes. Use clean dishes if there are only one or two people over. Otherwise, get disposable. BUT NOT PAPER PLATES. The suave man goes for something like Bambu disposable plates. They’re a step above above the typical paper stuff but just as disposable.

You shouldn’t have to spend more than $10-20 bucks making breakfast for a good half dozen people if you do it this way.

Bathroom Amenities

This stuff is in addition to the basics you already have as part of your hygiene routine.

• Extra toothbrush(es). Still in-package.
• Neutral shampoo/conditioner/body wash. Have something both men and women could use if they need to take a shower. Some women like having a fruity shampoo handy, others find it kind of off-putting that you, a dude, have it handy. Use your common sense.
• Plenty of clean towels available.
• Single-servings. Yeah, now you’re thinking like a hotel owner, but I find people are more willing to actually use your bathroom if you have single-servings of stuff like mouthwash ready to go.

Like many other posts, this is a guide and is work-in-progress. If you have any suggestions for additions, subtractions, or extra gizmos and tips I’m not aware of, please feel free to contribute them in the comments.