The Efficient, Comprehensive Morning Hygiene Routine

Cliff’s Notes

• Shower in cool/lukewarm/cold water. Lukewarm for skin benefits, cold for suave benefits. Shampoo first -> Condition, leaving conditioner in -> Lather body fully -> Rinse body and hair.
• Dry. Pat, don’t wipe, face. Don’t over-dry or rub too hard on hair either.
• Clean mouth. Floss -> Brush -> Don’t rinse mouth out.
• Clean face. Splash water on face -> Dime’s worth of face wash, work in gentle circles -> Rinse.
• Shave. Keep hot water handy. Lather -> Use safety razor and shave with grain in short, gentle strokes and frequently rinse blade in hot water -> Clean gently with moist towel, don’t scrub.

Equipment

I’m open to hearing your equipment recommendations!

Necessary:

• Shampoo.
• Conditioner.
• Bar soap. The simpler the ingredients, the better. Will fancy body washes and gels get you clean? Yes. But remember: soap gets you clean because it’s an emulsifier. That emulsification is all you need to get clean. There’s no need for fancy washes with clever ads unless you like the way it smells and think it’s worth paying a premium for.
• Dental floss.
• Toothpaste. Unless you have special dental needs, the cheapest toothpaste with fluoride will strengthen your teeth just fine.
• Face wash. Why not soap? It tends to be a little too much of a blunt instrument for the face. A simple search for “men’s face wash” on Amazon will yield plenty of $5 options. Expensive options include Ursa Major and Brickell.
• Shave soap or shaving cream. Depends on how you roll. I find shaving cream does what I want just fine. Some people recommend against using creams with foaming agents, so if you find that shaving still irritates you, try a regular shave soap or cream. Reviews at /r/wicked_edge
• Razor. I recommend a safety razor because it’s long-lasting and the blades are cheap, plus it looks more “adult” to have it in your bathroom.
• Simple tweezers. For tweezing.
• Deodorant.

Optional:

• Back brush. Your choice–you simply need to get soap onto your back.
• Moisturizer. Can be necessary for some, optional for others. A good recommendation is to get a moisturizer that doubles as a sunblock. One with zinc oxide or titanium dioxide can be worn outside right away.
• Body/face exfoliants.
• Mouthwash. Ask your dentist about the right kind of mouthwash to use, and if you need it.

The Shower

• Use cold water. There are so many benefits to this that the Art of Manliness calls it the “James Bond shower.” For minimal skin irritation, lukewarm water is best.
• Shampoo. Do it first so you can…
• Condition. …apply and rub in conditioner and leave in while you soap up.
• Use bar soap. Lather up thoroughly. Lather up your body so you can tell that you’ve gotten soap to all of the areas, then rinse afterwards to wash the soap and dirt away.
• Rinse thoroughly. Get rid of the conditioner in your hair. The purpose of towels isn’t to wipe soap away; it’s to get you dry again.
• Dry. Pat, don’t wipe, your face. Helps prevent wrinkling. If you have the patience to pat or air-dry your body entirely, all the better. As for drying your hair, wipe it, don’t rub it. And wipe it in the direction it grows. Be okay with leaving it a little wet and let the air do the rest. Don’t be all aggressive.
• Apply deodorant at some point.

Get ready for the next step: at the sink.

Oral Hygeine

• Floss.
• Brush teeth.
• Optional: Mouthwash. Talk to your dentist for recommendations.
• Don’t rinse your mouth out after! You want the flouride to stick with you a while.

Face Wash

• Splash your face with lukewarm water. Again, ditch the “pores” nonsense. You just want to lube up a bit for the soap.
• Use face wash.
• Rinse thoroughly. Once again, pat dry.

Shaving

Shaving is highly dependent on what you’re going for; these steps assume you’re going for a clean shave. If you’re growing it out, do not become a neckbeard, never never never. Instead I’ll simply refer you to Beards.com section on grooming.

• Lather up with shave soap or shaving cream. Let it sit for a while if you’re patient.
• Shave with the grain. Take some time separately to figure out which directions your hairs go if you don’t already know. This will reduce irritation a lot. And remember: short, gentle strokes. Especially with a safety razor. Let the blade do the work. Continually rinse your blade in hot water.
• Don’t forget your unibrow. If you have one. Skip this if you’re tweezing your unibrow.
• Optional: Shave a second time. Some people go as high as three. It will make for a better shave, of course, but it’s up to you to decide if you really enjoy sitting there in front of the mirror that long.
• Use a moist towel to clean the remaining cream/soap off. It feels way better than using a dry towel.
• Optional: Moisturize. This is the time to rub in some moisturizer if you’re using it.

As-Needed

• Apply sunscreen if you’re going to be in the sun a lot. One of the best ways to avoid wrinkles.
• Tweeze your unibrow. It’s said that tweezing is a more effective long-term solution for a unibrow and other unwanted hairs. It takes more time, but sometimes shaving can irritate.