27 March 2016

Attracting Beautiful and Exceptional Women Naturally, Introduction

by u/champagnehouse

Make eye contact with that picture.

How do you feel?

Do you look at her and see all the women who have ever rejected you? Do you look at her and think, gosh, she’s pretty, but I’ll never have a woman like that?

Let’s hope not. Being suave is not putting beautiful women on a pedestal. Being suave is seeing beautiful women for what they are: people. People you desire, yes, but people–people with flaws and people who can cause you headaches and people who can be awesome and fun to be with and everything else that’s entailed in having relationships with people.

But the important relationship here is the relationship you have with yourself, and your own attitude.

Look at her again.

How do you feel?

If you feel anything other than “I want someone that beautiful and I deserve someone that beautiful, and what else does she have to offer?”…then we’ve got some work to do.

Welcome to the world of attracting beautiful women naturally.

A Few Basic Principles

First, a few notes:

We’re going to assume that beauty is important. Why else spend so much time focusing on getting more attractive if we’re not going to be interested in attractive people? As a man, you are wired to find beautiful women desirable. This doesn’t mean that you should value less-than-beautiful any less; but when it comes to your relationship choices, make no apology for your desires.
Beautiful is relative to your taste. To some degree, what is a “10” to me is not a “10” to you. That much is a given. We will likely talk about beauty in generalizations, but keep in mind that beauty can be relative.
You deserve beautiful women and you are not interested in settling. There is no interest in “settling” here–and the idea of settling comes from the assumption that you deserve less than beautiful, amazing women. There is no “bang a few ugly women to build your confidence” talk here. We’re going to ditch all talk of “leagues” at the door. We’re going to start from the assumption that you are a 10 out of 10 when it comes to desirability and build you up from there. We’re not going to start with the bad assumptions 99% of men make. That alone will make you more desirable.
You will not “get” while giving nothing in return. Much of the point of building yourself up into an amazing person is to also deserve and attract an amazing person in kind. You probably can be lazy about self-improvement and still get the girl, but where’s the challenge in that?

Attracting Beautiful Women Naturally

Stay with me on this, because I think this might blow some peoples’ minds.

In /r/getsuave, you are not going to use any special “game” or “pickup lines” or “seduction methods” when talking to beautiful women.

“But champagnehouse, how am I going to attract women if I don’t somehow convince them with my witty banter that I’m more attractive than I really am?”

The need to spit “game” and use “pickup techniques” comes from a place of fundamental scarcity. When you assume you need extra help to attract women, your assumption is that you are already too unattractive to be with her. When you work from this assumption, she smells your desperation a mile away and you sulk home, believing that you need to work on your “game.” In reality, it was your desperate vibe that killed any chance you had.

Here’s the difference in visual form: what you’re taught to do to attract women versus how it should actually be.

The fascinating part is that the difference is basically all in your head. Most of being suave is an inner journey. We’ll talk about how to build confidence from the inside out, not merely from the outside.

There is plenty to talk about in terms of strategies for making yourself more attractive, particularly the concept of social proof. That deserves its own post, though.

Approaching Women and Being Approached by Women

We’ll focus on both. You should learn to be comfortable approaching beautiful women and you should ask yourself how you can also be approached by them.

There are some fundamental lessons to remember here that will be explained in greater detail in subsequent posts:

The 60/40 principle. A Nick Sparks idea: whenever you approach a person, you can bet that 60% of their reaction is based on them–their mood, their attitude, how their day is going, their assumptions, etc.–and only 40% is you. That means you can do a lot to change how they react to you…but ultimately you shouldn’t take anything too personally.
Offering opportunities. When you go out and talk to new people, you’re merely introducing the opportunity for a great social interaction to happen.
Being the party rather than joining the party. You’re going to be far more naturally attractive if you’re providing value wherever you go, owning and room and being the party rather than trying to sneak your way in to someone else’s good time. You’re there to inspire, not to aspire.
The warm goodbye. Be prepared for rejection in a way that empowers you rather than makes you doubt yourself.

Sustaining and Managing Relationships

If you’re interested in a long-term relationship, we’ll talk about that here as well. Some principles to keep in mind:

Being in a relationship does not excuse you from being suave. That is to say, you should not stop improving yourself simply because you’re in a relationship. Relationships are there to make your life better, not to be a crutch.
If you choose a monogamous relationship, stick to it. There’s nothing suave about cheating on a woman.
Be willing to walk away at any time for any reason. Life is short. Live it on your terms. If you’re not always willing to walk away, you risk investing in a relationship that’s wrong for you.

There will, as always, be more posts and links to come. This is a basic introduction into the world of attracting beautiful women and the attitudes from which /r/getsuave will approach it.